okay, im updating again, but it isnt something very good.
my grandfather is in critical condition in the hospital now, and we're prepared that he may go anytime. keep him in your prayers please, that he'll go as quickly as possible so that he'll be relieved of the pain that he's going through right now.
im scared, honestly. im scared because of purely selfish reasons, because of this i may not be able to go for prom or for class chalet, and i hate myself because of that. im scared because he isn't saved and now it's too late to reach out to him, and i hate myself because i've had so long to try and reach out to him, but i didnt even bother cause i didnt know teochew that well. i hate myself too because i made the exact same mistake again and now its too late to tell him i love you, or thank you for bringing me up all these years, or just an i'll miss you.
im scared because his funeral is going to be a taoist one, and im really the most scared for that because it's going to be so different from my other grandfather's one which is a christian funeral. and i hate myself for it because i know, and it shows that my faith isnt strong enough. all in all, im just really scared.
chinese olevels on wednesday too. but foremost, please pray for him.
